that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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