i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
