I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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