I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
