yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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