You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
