Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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