They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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