Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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