she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
