Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize