take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
