There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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