It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
