when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
