He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
