never play flip cup with pint glasses
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
They took my balls.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
