Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
