Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
