As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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