I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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