Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
