That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
