why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
