he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
