Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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