if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
