honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
