How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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