HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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