Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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