I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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