Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
