y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
