think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
