dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
