Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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