those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
