He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
