I hate all girls vehemently.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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