HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
