i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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