So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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