His pubic hair was longer than his dick
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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