with your own penis?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
