hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize