Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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