i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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