Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize