Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
