R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
