look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize