: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
