i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
When are your genitals available?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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