Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
