it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
