Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
