Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
